


Dad

by gentlelogic



Series: The Human!Sides College AU Verse [21]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bonding, Documentaries at four am, Drinking, Drunkenness, Father Figures, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 16:09:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20156362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gentlelogic/pseuds/gentlelogic
Summary: Patton is… startlingly similar to Roman’s dad at times. Roman’s trying to learn there’s nothing wrong in liking that he is.Or.4 times Patton reminded Roman of his dad and it scared him + 1 time it didn’t.





	Dad

**1;**

Roman was drunk.

So unbelievably drunk off his ass that when he went to down another shot, the little glass slipped right from his clumsy grip and crashed against the floor. Roman stared at it as if it were going to grow legs and walk off. Roman snorted. Little glass shards with little legs, making their way across the dance floor would be pretty darn funny, if he did say so himself.

It was so funny, in fact, that Roman picked up his phone and dialed Patton, giggling to himself as the phone rang. Gosh, Patton would _die_, it was so funny!

“Hey Roman!”

“Hey, Patton!” Roman yelled, just a little too loud.

“Are you still at Valerie’s birthday party?”

“I am. I _yam_.” Roman burst into laughter, feeling floaty and full of so much laughter, he could burst. “Patton, I have something funny to tell you.”

“Oh yeah?” Patton asked, sounding amused.

“My glass broke. It broke into all these little pieces. And I was… thinkin’. If they grew _legs_.”

“Legs?”

“Legs, Patton-Batton.” Roman snorted. “Legs. Wouldn’t that be funny?”

“That would be funny, kiddo; it would. Say, are you heading home anytime soon?”

“Should’ve left a half-hour ago but I can’t find my DD.” Roman giggled. “DD. Could stand for Delicious Daddy, but nooo, it stands for something boring. Like dickanated driver.”

“Pretty sure that’s not what it stands for.”

Roman pursed his lips. “Pretty sure it is.” He took a wobbly step forward, giggling again when the floor tilted. “Patton. Floor’s moving. Gotta split.”

“All right, Roman. Be safe and have fun. Try to find your designated driver soon, okay? It’s getting a little late.”

“Don’t need to worry. I’ll be okay, dad.” And either Roman wasn’t quite as shit faced as he thought or the world was coming to a screeching halt, sobering him up like a punch to the face.

“Sorry,” he said. Fumbling. “So sorry-”

“Roman,” Patton said softly.

“Joke. I’m. I was joking,” Roman choked. “Joke. Like the legs on the shot glasses.”

“It’s okay, Roman; you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Roman tried to smile. “Okay. I’m hanging up now.”

“Find your driver, okay?” Patton said, voice quiet and soft.

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye, Roman. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Roman hung up, hands trembling.

God, he was such an **_idiot_**.

**2.**

“Gently push on the gas,” Patton said. The car lurched forward and Virgil shrieked in alarm, slamming on the brakes. He was trembling again, looking to Patton who gave a nervous smile in return. “Gently, kiddo._ Gentle_.”

“I can’t do this,” Virgil groaned. “I’m such a screw-up. Gonna be an incompetent adult forever, who can’t drive and I’m going to fail at-”

“Virgil,” Patton said. His voice was stern. “I know you’re feeling discouraged, but you’re not incompetent and you’re not a screw-up.”

“Yeah,” Roman piped up from the backseat. “If I really thought you were gonna be such a terrible driver or something, I wouldn’t be trusting you with Angelina right now.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, a tear of frustration rolling down his cheek. “I’m not _getting_ it.”

“Driving takes lots of practice. I’ve been doing it for years and I know I can still get better. And you’ll get better. The more you practice, the more you put in the effort.” Patton patted Virgil’s knee reassuringly. “Let’s try again.”

Roman watched from the backseat as Virgil carefully eased off the brake, then gently, oh so carefully, pressed down on the gas pedal and drove forward several feet, then turned around the building, and stopped into a parking spot, putting Angelina safely in park. A hesitant smile pulled at Virgil’s face and Patton grinned, bright and sunny, shoving a fist out.

Virgil bumped it carefully. Patton grinned wider, if that were even possible.

“I’m so proud of you, buddy!” Patton lunged forward, wrapping Virgil in a tight hug. Virgil startled but wrapped his arms back around Patton, still shaking.

Roman watched from the back, something weird twisting in his stomach and heart- he didn’t want to even begin to examine what _it _was.

**3.**

Roman was cold, but he absolutely was _not _willing to give Logan and Patton the satisfaction of going back to his car for the jacket he insisted he didn’t need. So, he sat in between them on the bleachers, watching the musical performance going on below, and tried not to shiver.

Logan leaned closer to him. “Why is she engaging in singing another song?”

Roman laughed. “Just keep watching, Specs.”

Logan huffed. Then frowned, leaning even closer. “Are you shaking?”

“No.”

“Yes, you are.” Logan rolled his eyes. “Roman, Patton and I both insisted that you bring your jacket, however, you remained adamant-”

“Shut up, Nerd. I’m not cold.”

Patton leaned into his other side. “What are we fighting about, guys?”

“Nothing,” Roman said, just as Logan said, “He is cold, just as I anticipated he would be!”

Patton sighed. “Kiddo, I told you to bring a jacket.”

“I’m_ fine_.”

Patton sighed again, but scooted impossibly closer to Roman, wrapping an arm around Roman’s shoulders. Roman shivered and tried to ignore Logan’s smug smirk. But then Logan was scooting a fraction closer to Roman, muttering something about foolishness and absurdity. Then, handed over his small black gloves from his pockets.

“You ought to put them on. I have pockets to provide substantial warmth to my hands with.”

Roman slid them on with a grateful smile and turned back to the musical. He was still a little cold but dared not complain, especially with the warm presence of his friends at each of his sides and the gloves on his hands. Soon enough, he found himself dozing off, leaning into Patton’s shoulder.

Time blurred from there, and soon enough he heard quiet voices over him.

“You cannot expect to carry him to the car, Patton. You are too small.”

“I think I can!”

“You would drop him.”

“No, I wouldn’t!”

“Patton. Be reasonable!”

“I don’t wanna wake him up.”

“It will not kill him. He can go back to sleep once we are back in the car.”

“But he looks so _peaceful_.”

“Do you recognize how absurd it would look to an outsider to see you carrying a man much larger than you to a car?”

“So what?”

“_Patton_.”

Roman decided that was probably a good time to sit up. He opened his eyes and forcefully pushed his stiff muscles upright. He leaned against the back of the bleachers and gave a small smile.

“I can walk to the car, Pat,” he said.

Patton smiled apologetically. “Sorry, kiddo.”

Roman stood up and Patton immediately took his arm, helping steady him as the three made their way to Patton’s car. Roman was still cold, but his skin felt like it was on fire, something warm and nervous twisting in his stomach.

He couldn’t remember the first time his dad had carried him to bed, but he can remember the last. He’d seen a performance of The Little Mermaid at a dinner theatre with his mom and dad and fallen asleep towards the end.

Once the show had ended, his dad scooped him and carried him to the car, buckling him in. Roman had opened his eyes and his dad grinned at him, big and kind, and told him to go back to sleep.

And in the backseat of Patton’s car, as he watched Patton crack puns to Logan, Roman couldn’t help but wonder if he was in the past or the present- or either at all.

**4.**

“Is that a starfish?” Roman asked, stuffing another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

Logan nodded. “It is.”

“Where’s its face?” 

“It doesn’t have a face, per se. Merely a mouth and eyes.”

“Creepy.”

Logan wrinkled his nose. “Did you honestly expect a humanoid facial structure on a starfish?”

“Something like that, yeah,” Roman grumbled, shoving more popcorn into his mouth with a pout.

“Well, I apologise that nature and science do not meet your unrealistic expectations.”

“I’m just saying, starfish would be cooler if they had human faces.”

“They absolutely would not.”

“They so would.”

“Objectively, that would be horrifying.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I am right, you insufferable-”

“_What_ are you two doing?” Roman froze, hand halfway to the popcorn bowl, as he looked up to see Patton standing in the living room doorway with his pyjamas, frowning at the two.

“Salutations, Patton,” Logan said. “Roman and I are watching a fascinating new documentary on sea creatures.”

“Logan. It is four in the morning.”

Logan had the grace to look sheepish. “I am aware. However…” Logan deflated. “I have no excuse for myself.”

Patton smiled. “You couldn’t wait until morning?”

“The excitement was too much to handle,” Logan said.

“Well, I dunno why you didn’t invite me! I like sea stuff too.” Patton slid in beside Roman.

“You were asleep,” Roman said.

“I was not! I was just resting my eyes. I’m not sleepy at all now.”

“Oh?” Logan asked, looking quite suspicious. “If you say so.”

They resumed the documentary. Within five minutes, Patton’s arms were crossed across his chest, head slouched down. Roman could remember many times when he was a kid, with his parents, when his dad would fall asleep just like that as they watched TV together. His mom would laugh and kiss his dad’s cheek. His dad would startle somewhat, then fall right back asleep, Roman and his mom giggling together like they shared some sort of secret.

“Roman? Are you no longer interested in the documentary?”

Roman realised he was staring at Patton, rather than the television, and Logan was gazing at him expectantly. His eyes felt damp and Roman looked down at his knees with a deep sigh.

“I’m okay, Logical Disaster.”

Logan didn’t look convinced. He carefully leaned forward and patted Roman’s knee, then leaned back.

“f you are not okay… that is okay,” Logan said finally.

Roman swallowed. “Patton just… he’s a lot like…” his voice wavered, “I miss my dad, is all.”

Logan nodded. “I can imagine Patton can sometimes represent that of a good parental figure and stir up such… emotions.”

“It’s not like that, Logan. He’s… he’s not much older than me and it’s… it’s_ weird_.”

“I do not understand.”

Roman’s eyes flickered to Patton worriedly, as if afraid he’d wake up. But he still slept peacefully, chest rising and falling, chin tucked against his chest.

“It’s gross. Weird. To think of Patton like a parent in any way other than a _joke_. Patton’s my friend and I don’t need to drag my weird dead daddy issues into it. It’s wrong.” Roman flinched at his own words, looking expectantly at Logan, ready for the hammer to fall.

It didn’t.

“That is not gross,” Logan said softly. “A lot of things happen psychologically upon experiencing the death of a loved one, especially the death of a father whom you presumably viewed so highly. Finding a good friend who you view as a father figure… that doesn’t seem so wrong to me.”

Roman was quiet, throat tight.

“Besides, Patton would find something like that… sweet.”

“It’s like there’s this hole,” Roman whispered, “right here.” He placed a hand to his chest. “And after my dad dies, I’ve been always wishing something would fill it. Make me feel less empty. Right there.” A tear fell down his cheek. “And sometimes it feels like Patton fills it up a little bit.”

“That is not a bad thing,” Logan said.

“Objectively?” Roman asked.

Logan snorted, something soft and kind in his eyes. “Objectively.”

**+1**

Roman wasn’t drunk. He wasn’t sleepy or tired. His brain wasn’t muddled from napping between Logan and Patton for an hour. It wasn’t four in the morning, head blurring with images of starfish with human faces. He didn’t have an _excuse_.

He was just having a great time with Patton, Logan, and Virgil. And Patton made some stupid joke- (_so, if you wear a belt covered in bibles all the time, do you technically live inside the Bible Belt?_), and everyone was laughing, save Logan’s fond eyeroll. Then Roman was laughing too hard that he leaned back a little too far in his chair and toppled backwards.

Immediately, three people were over him, wearing varying levels of exasperated and concerned expressions.

“You okay, kiddo?” Patton asked, bending down and offering a hand. Roman took it, pulling himself up.

“I’m fine, dad,” he said.

Patton’s lips parted into a small “o”, Virgil’s eyebrow raised, and Logan merely looked like he did when a hypothesis of his was confirmed.

“I-” Roman felt his face heating, but Virgil was already sitting back down at the table, muttering something about how Roman shouldn’t lean back in his chairs like that. Logan was nodding in agreement, sitting back down, and grabbing his water glass.

Patton clasped Roman’s shoulder, looking a little shaken himself, but ultimately, pleased. He sat down.

Roman figured, if nobody else was making it a Big Deal, then maybe…

Maybe it was okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry if this fic is a little… uhhhhh. Weird.


End file.
